Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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