Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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