Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
