It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just blew my weed a kiss
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My ass is underappreciated
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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