Moan for me like Helen Keller
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
