Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
