Are we in a gay sports bar?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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