Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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