2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
