So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
