My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
