Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
