Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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