i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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