yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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