She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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