I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
