he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
