I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
