The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
