Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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