Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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