I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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