Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
