You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
