honey bunches of taint.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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