I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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