If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i drank out of a bidet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize