Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
