He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize