Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
