Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
