I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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