I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
