As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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