You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
