Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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