Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
