Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i permit you to call me
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
