Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
