she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
