idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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