Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
