Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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