were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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