like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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