do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
