Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
