Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
