It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
