We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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