i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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