I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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