no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
