I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
