Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize