Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
