As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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